Sunday 29 April 2018
100 Word Challange
“Come here” I shouted, “check out this sick cemetery” I told my best friend, “should we check it out” I ask, “sure” he replies. So carefully we push open the Crimson gate that creaks as the hinges squeal from years of abandonment. We enter cautiously not wanting to disturb the misty presence of the dead we prepare to run frantically at the first sign of danger. I leap over a grave using my athletic skills to land safely away from the edge, unfortunately my best friend also tries to jump but his slight gut disables him from jumping the length easily and he lands on top of the grave. A look of horror arises on his face and I laugh and then feel scared, what does this mean will we be haunted for the rest of our lives at that moment a sound of thunder rages across the graveyard and without a moment's hesitation we run from the graveyard screaming, as we leave we don’t close the gate…...
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I liked how you added suspense at the end. Next time you could add dialogue on a different line.
ReplyDeleteAlso check out my blog: http://callum2017.global2.vic.edu.au/
You have used some very clever phrases in your writing e.g. enter cautiously, hinges squeal. This really sets the scene for your text. I also like your ending. It finishes off your text nicely.
ReplyDeleteHi Elizabeth
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your writing with us. I really love some of the descriptive language that you use: we push open the Crimson gate that creaks as the hinges squeal from years of abandonment, We enter cautiously not wanting to disturb the misty presence of the dead etc. They create a wonderful image in the reader's mind and really help them to feel a part of this setting.
Keep up the great writing.
Ms McKenzie (Team 100)
Christchurch, New Zealand