100 Word Challenge
12/2/18
…..we were moving very fast when……
It was a cold winter's morning and we were
moving very fast when the man jumped out
from behind the bush with a machine gun in
his hand. “Hop out of the car” he shouted, not
knowing what to do my mother and I stayed
in the car sinking low in our seats. “Ready?”
my Mum asked, “ready for what?” I answered.
Then without warning Mum pressed her foot
down on the accelerator and we surged forward
the car leapt from nought to sixty and we ran
over the man and without looking behind left him
dying on the ground with blood rushing out of his
body like a water from a waterfull
moving very fast when the man jumped out
from behind the bush with a machine gun in
his hand. “Hop out of the car” he shouted, not
knowing what to do my mother and I stayed
in the car sinking low in our seats. “Ready?”
my Mum asked, “ready for what?” I answered.
Then without warning Mum pressed her foot
down on the accelerator and we surged forward
the car leapt from nought to sixty and we ran
over the man and without looking behind left him
dying on the ground with blood rushing out of his
body like a water from a waterfull
Waterfall is spelt wrong!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteEddie, you are using some precise and vivid verbs that give exact information. Continue to work on doing this. Particular phrases that add interest to your writing are: blood rushing, we surged forward. You have also incorporated a simile.
ReplyDelete